Dirty Little Secrets
by Firetop
Summary: A member of the 'Josh Lyman Fan Club' gets out of hand.
1. Part 1

Title: Dirty Little Secret Author: Fire Top Rating: NC-17 (yes kiddies beware) Spoilers: Let's say season one for sure. Maybe a little of season two. Disclaimer: The characters you recognize belong to Adam Sorkin and NBC. The ones you don't belong to me. No money is being made off of this. Summery: Josh has a little secrete that he doesn't want any one to know about. And for obvious reasons.  
  
Authors Note: RAPE!!!!!! Yes a man can be raped by a woman. This isn't a fun story. It will be written in a few parts. This is the first time I have ever written a West Wing story and anything that is in first person POV. It was an experience. Please send any comments to firetop1015@yahoo.com . The English is probably not correct but it is written the way people think and speak. Lots of fragments.  
  
Part One  
  
I so need to go away. Tonight it is. I took off Friday and the rest of the weekend. No one knows where I am going. I have booked myself into a golf spa. Just me and the green. I really need this. I think the whole office agrees with me. They might not know it all, but I have been working very hard lately. Not that we all don't. I wave good bye to everyone. I leave my cell phone and pager with Donna. I'll pick them back up on Monday morning when I come into work. I tell Donna to take tomorrow off too. I think I shocked her. Oh well, attribute it to me going away from Washington for three days. All I have to do is go home finish packing and make it to the airport. Blessed peace is a mere 4 hours away. I think I'm whistling as I walk home. What? Can't a guy be in a good mood? There are no scandals brewing. Everyone is playing nicely. I couldn't have planned a better time for me to take a vacation. Hey maybe I'll even get lucky. I know it's hard to believe but I've been celibate for the past 3 months. I know, I guy like me? But face it. I'm pretty busy. That reminds me; pick up condoms before the flight. Hey I don't want to get any one pregnant now. And it's inconsiderate of my not to provide my own protection. I don't even bother with the elevator. I take the steps two at a time. Ok, now I'm starting to scare myself. I fish my keys out of my pants pocket and open the door. Home Sweet Home. I walk into my room put down my bag and move to my closet to get my suitcase. "You're home." I spin around at the voice. And nearly trip. That was a female voice. There are no females that live here. At least they didn't when I left here this morning. She stands there. She is taller than I am. Almost as tall as CJ, I turn my head, maybe taller. Except I know this is not CJ. She is pale. Her hair is jet black. She is wearing a black leather outfit that is very exotic. I clear my voice, "Can I help you?" "You kidder. Don't you play that you don't know me." She is moving closer to me. I back up. I don't like where this is going. Her hands are behind her back. "Look I think this is some kind of mistake." My back is to the wall, quite literally I might add. She puts her arms on either side of me and presses me into the wall. "Now lover, is that how you treat your secrete admirer." There is a flash of metal out of the corner of my eye and she now has a blade to my throat. Oh shit.  
  
I had been getting strange letters for the past month or so. Love notes or so everyone at work thinks. They keep asking me who it is; I tell them it's nothing. I don't think that they believed me. I think they believe I'm running away this weekend to be with her. I wasn't, but it looks like they were right. Don't get me wrong, I'm the first to gloat when I get a love letter or something like that. Don't ask me why, I don't know. It was sitting in with the regular mail that Donna sorts for me. My personal mail gets put in my office. This letter definatly looked personal. Lilac envelope, purple lettering, my name neatly printed on it. No return address. No biggie to me. I open it. The contents are what made me keep this from my friends. It's very raunchy. Not that I would hide that from anyone, especially CJ, Sam, and Toby. You should hear us when we let our hair down. But this was sick. All of the letters were disturbing. They talked about how this person wanted to tie me up and do all sorts of things to me; most of them involved the spilling of my blood. That's what got me. Hey I have a healthy libido and an open mind. There is nothing wrong with a little S&M. But when blood is talked about, that turns me off. I know I should have taken it to the secrete service but to be honest I was kind of embarrassed by it. All the letters where like that. There were ten of them in all. Maybe that's why I wanted to get away. I try not to think about the letters as she handcuffs my hands behind me and blind folds me. Did I mention I'm scared shitless? I try and listen to find out where she is when something clamps my balls. This is definatly not good. She is massaging and fondling me. It's not a good kind of fondle. I feel kind of dirty. Worse, my body is liking it. Stupid body. I try and ignore the hand as it works. Oh god, I can't help but moan. I feel the fabric of my clothing straining against my dick. Down, I try and tell it. Does it listen of course not. Did I mention I haven't had sex in three months and it feels good being someone else's hand doing all the work? I am educated enough to logically know that the body is a tool and if it is manipulated correctly you can get it to go anything you want it to. I repeat that as I feel my body betray me and come. My pants are now wet and I'm out of breath. "You liked that didn't you?" She whispers in my ear. I don't answer I'm still kind of shaken. I'm suddenly tossed towards the bed and held down kneeling on the floor. I know it's my bed because it's soft. She is pressing down on my neck, pushing my face in to the mattress. "You utter one sound and you'll get more." More? More what? Swat Oh. I don't know what she is hitting me with. It might be a paddle. I try not to make a sound. It hurts. She is strong. She yanks my head back by my hair. "Do you know what that was for?" "Nope, not a clue." I answer. I can't help it. She pushes me back down into the mattress. She is squishing my nose. "The first ten were for messing your pants. You my dear need to learn some control. The next ten are for your smart ass answer. And the final ten are to teach you manners."  
  
Twenty strokes later there are tears in my eyes, but I haven't uttered a sound. My ass is on fire. She removes her hand from my head. I don't move. Who knows what might happen. "Stand up." She orders. Stand up? Ok. "Yes ma'am." I answer. It takes me a few seconds. First, I don't have good balance with out my hands free and I can't see anything either. Second I'm kinds sore from kneeling for what seemed like an eternity. Oh and did I mention my ass is on fire. I guess she didn't take that into consideration. As soon as I'm on my feet there is a slap across my face that makes me stumble. I think the wall saved me from falling on my ass. She pulls me away from it and now I don't know where in the room I am. "When I say move you move. You got that?" "Yes Ma'am." She caresses my face with one hand. Then I feel the sharp blade at my neck. "Let's get you out of these clothes." The blade is sharp. My clothing doesn't give any resistance to it. She starts at my neck. I feel it go down my left arm. Then back at the neck and down the right. I'm happy I left the tie at work. It was a present from CJ, and I liked it. She would be pissed if I didn't wear it again. Again at the neck this time down my front. I feel the shirt fall away from my body. She then tugs on my belt buckle. "I have a use for this later." She purrs. I think I'm going to be sick. The blades slide down each of the pants legs and they fall away along with my boxers. Then there is nothing but air. I don't know hold long I stand there naked. I think I'm trembling. I don't know if it's cold or fear. I try and listen for something. But I don't hear anything. Could she have left? Hopefully. I should try and get this blind fold off. I wait a few more seconds. I must have been standing here for six minutes now. I move my foot when something slaps my ass. That stung. "Who told you to move?" Slap "I know it wasn't me." Slap! "And I'm the only one doing the talking." Slap! "How many is that now?" Slap! "Four Ma'am" I answer. I deserve this. I shouldn't have moved. "Six more. I want you to count them. Start with five." Slap "Five." Slap. "Six" Slap. "Seven." Slap "Eight." Slap "Nine." Slap "Ten" I finally groan out. I just want to collapse. I try not to jump when I feel her hand on my ass. "Mmmm. Nice and warm. We will definatly have to reheat this later." She squeezes my left ass cheek. Oh god does that hurt. Then I'm left alone again. I count to myself. I get to 720 second. I can't believe I've stayed still that long. Over ten minutes. Toby would be so proud. I'm pushed down. Luckily the bed is behind me. I let my body fall in what ever matter it falls in. She grabs my ankles and pulls. Before I know it my cock is engulfed in wet heat. Her mouth is on me. She takes me all the way in, all the way to the root. It's not that I'm huge, but I'm not that little either. I like to think that eight inches is a nice size. She's good. She's sucking and I'm going to loose it. I've had blow jobs before. Very few this good. I try and hold back my orgasm. I don't want her to hurt me. Her teeth are running up the length of my cock. My hips move involuntarily. I want to be back in that heat. There is a stabling pressure at the base of my cock. "You are such a little slut." She laughs. The sharp point digs deeper into my skin. I whimper. "Don't move." And once again I'm engulfed in heat. I can't think. Her mouth is sucking me, her tongue swirling its way up and down my length. Her hands find my balls and she starts to fondle them. I can't help but moan. I'm so close. Her teeth scrape me as she moves up. I'm panting. I just want to come. I'm at the edge. There is something being tied around my cock. It's tight, almost painful. "That should help you control yourself." The assault starts again. I should not be enjoying this. Why is my body betraying me like this? My cock is straining against what ever she tied it with. I try to find something to focus on. Anything but the pleasure coming from my penis. 


	2. part 2

Part Two (feel free to back out now)  
  
She's making me go to work today. After everything that happened this weekend. She expects me to go into work and pretend that nothing happened. Then I'm supposed to come back home tonight. Everything hurts. What am I going to tell them at work? They will all know that something happened. I can't let them know. It they know, then she'll know. I can't let that happen. Too many bad things have already happened to this presidency. I can't let anything else happen. Anyway who would believe me? I spent the weekend tied up and blindfolded while some woman had her way with me. I know what it's called but that doesn't mean I'll say it. Someone bumps into me and I wince in pain. Everything hurts. I don't know exactly what she did, but I felt it and saw some of the marks this morning. It was also the only time she allowed me to come all weekend. I was aroused and sustained an erection for over 48hrs. She got off plenty.  
  
A hand touches my shoulder and I jump. "Josh you ok?" Donna asks me.  
I look around. Huh? I made it to the office with out realizing it. "Earth to Josh." She calls again, and reaches out to me. I quickly move out of the way. "I'm fine Donna." I don't want anyone to touch me.  
"Okay. I got your phone for you." She hands it to me and I walk into  
my office. Great, Donna knows something up. I hang my over coat up and wince. I leave the suit jacket on. It's less painful if I don't move too much. Also it's easier to hide the brusies this way. And I want as much between my skin and the outside world as possible. A knock on my door and Donna walks in. "Senior staff in five." "Okay. Thanks again for holding my phone." "You sure you ok?" "Yes, Donna. Can you print out my schedual for today?" "Sure." "Thanks." I better start making my way up to leo's office. It's going to take me that long to get there.  
  
"Look who made it back." Sam slaps me on the back. I jump away and squeal in pain. Not very manly I know. "Josh?" "Sorry Sam. Sunburn." It seems like a good lie. "Fell asleep on your stomach again?" One beach party in college and they never let you live it down. "Uh huh." "So did you have a good time?" "Yeah, it was fine." I try and sound enthused. I don't even buy it. There are more well wishers though out the day. New of my sunburn quickly spreads, so people are being kind. Asking me to let them know if I need anything. Donna has even asked me if I need help getting my suit jacket off. I have two meetings today and I spend the rest of my day in my office prepareing. We are all pretty busy, so no one thinks me hiding in my office unusual. Some how I'm able to hide my panic during my meetings. The pain dulls through out the day. 6pm comes and there is nothing more for me to do. My phone rings. "Josh I'm waiting." "Yes Ma'am." I reply automatically. "You coming home soon?" "Yes, ma'am." And she disconnects "Josh you ok?" I spin at toby's voice. "Yeah, what's up?" Please let it be something that will keep me here. "I'm heading home. You want me to give you a lift? You still seem to be in a bit of pain." If you only knew how much, Toby. "Thanks." "You want to grab some pizza and watch the game?" Shit. "Naw, I'm just gonna go home, strip and lather myself in aloe." "Now there's a mental image." We make more small talk on the way home. I'm not really listening. Home is getting closer and closer. "You sure you are ok?" "Yeah Toby. Thanks for the lift." I really don't want to go home. 


	3. Part 3

Part Three (I won't be upset if you stop now.)  
  
The door is open and she is in the wall way waiting for me. She kisses me on the cheek. I flinch, and she takes the bag from my hands. "Dinner is ready." She says sweetly. I go and sit at the table. She's being nice again, like she was this morning, after my shower. She places food on both our plates. Roasted chicken, red potatoes, and string beans. I pick at the chicken, skip the potatoes, and eat all my greens. I'm in a veggie mood. I sip the glass of water that is infront of me. I'm weary. I don't know what she is thinking. I'm scared of her. I don't look up at her. " You done?" She asks. "Yes Ma'am." I put my hands on my lap. I see her rhands take my plate and she dissappers into the kitchen. I wonder id she would hear me if I ran for the door. "Come in here Joshua." She must be reading my mind. I walk into the kitchen with my eyes down. "Strip and fold your clothing. You can put them on the counter." "Yes ma'am." At least this suit won't be ruined. I start with my tie and shirt. Next goes my belt, pants and socks. I catch her out of the corner of my eye. She is leaning against the sink, arms folded drumming her fingers on her arm. She looks impatient. I try and move quicker with my tee shirt and boxers. "Turn around." She orders. I follow. I feel her hand on my ass. "We'll warm these up soon." She ties a blindfold over my eyes again. "I got a surprise for you." She takes my right hand and leads me away. I don't know where I am. I think it's the extra bedroom. She moves my right arm above my head and ties something to it. She repeats the process with my left. I feel her hands now tieing something around my left ankle. My right leg is pulled out a little further and I feel slightly off balance and stretched as she ties that ankle up. Her fingernails run down my back and they stop on my ass. One of her fingers continues the journey and runs down my crack. When it travels back up it is in between the cheeks. It leaves and I feel nothing. Something cold is shoved up my ass. It is long, hard and thick. I bite my lip. She would not want me to scream. It hurts. It starts to move. More like vibrating. The pain becomes pleasure. I'm getting hard again. The vibrator is resting on my prostate. I feel her hands tieing something aroung my cock. She licks the tip which I'm siure was leaking. Then there is nothing but arousal. I just want to come. I know not to beg. Did that over the weekend. Bad idea. The first blow comes as a surprise to me. It's to my side. It is quickly followed by a second, third, and fourth. Before I can catch my breath she is working on the other side. A moment of nothing. The paddle on my ass. I try and count in my head. But the vibrator is making it impossible. Pain, pleasure, pain pleasure. That is all my body knows. I loose track of time. As quickly as it started it ends. I'm sweating. She pulls the vibrator out and unties my ankles. She rubs them to make sure they aren't too cramped. My hands are untied and slowly lowered to my sides. She leads me into the bathroom, I can tell by the tiles on the floor, and has me sit on the toilet. This means I can go to the bathroom. It is odd walking with an erection and your ass on fire inside and out. When I'm done she wipes my ass. The toilet paper feels more like sandpaper.  
She leads me into the shower. "Hands out." I put my hands on the  
tiled wall. "You want to come?" She licks my earlobe. "Yes Ma'am." "How badly?" "Very ma'am." My voice is threatening to shake. "10 strokes?" "Yes ma'am." "20?" "Yes Ma'am." "How about 30?" "Yes, Ma'am." I can't help the quiver anymore. "How about I decide. You count." "Yes Ma'am." Slap, "One." Slap. "Two." She stops at 25. I'm out of breath. "Put your hand on your cock." I obey. "You feel how large it is? Find the bow and untie it." I obey. "Stroke yourself. Show me how much you care about it. Love it Josh." I move my hand. It takes a little longer that I thought it would. I guess it's been trained well. She turns the water on. After a few minutes I feel it hit my body. She takes the blind fold off. "You better hurry, Joshua. It's already 6am. You don't want to be late. I'll lay your clothing out for you." And she leaves. I stand under the hot water and let it try and take away some of the physical pain, while my tears work on the emotional. After five minutes or so I quickly wash my hair and body. If I thought yesterday was bad to day is going to be worse. I step out to shave and brush my teeth. It's a good thing I have an electic razor. I might have bled to death otherwise. I dry off and head to the bedroom. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My normally pale, white skin, is a rainbow of colors. Today is going to be much worse. I quickly get dressed and I'm met with my bag. "I packed you a sandwich and a bottle of advil. You have a good day and I'll see you later. And you better some home or you know what will happen." "Yes Ma'am." If I tell, well, we all know the scandle it would cause if the Deputy Chief of Staff is seen in S& M pictures. I don't remember ever hearing a camera but I'm not always coherent.  
  
It takes me even longer to get to work today. I'm walking much slower. It even hurts to breath. How am I going to sit through all my meetings? Today and tomorrow I'm swamped with meetings about the education bill. We have to get this through congress. "Josh you are late." "I know Donna." She follows me into my office. I open my bag and dig out the Advil. "Can you do me a huge favor? Find me a cup of tea with honey and lemon?" "Sure Josh, You ok?" Not really but I can't tell you. I take three advil dry. "Not really. I think I'm coming down with something." It seems better than the sunburn story from yesterday. I grab a pen and pad. "You want me to talk to Toby or Sam about your meetings?" "Thanks Donna, but no. I'll be fine. Let me go. If you can also get me some toast with grape jelly that would be wonderful." "Sure Josh. I'll have them here by the time you get back." "You are an angle." I really mean it. I leave, I'm going to be late.  
  
"Josh you are late." Leo tells me as I enter his office. "I know. I'm sorry." There are no excuses. "You okay? You don't look so good. Are you going to be up for today and tomorrow?" The president added. Truthfully probably not. But I'm going to die trying. "I'm probably just catching a cold sir. I should be ok." "Good man Josh."  
  
I spend the staff meeting standing. I'm not sure I'd be able to get back up if I was to sit. Something doesn't feel right in my pants. After the president dismisses us I make my way into the men's room. Oh Fuck! There is blood in my underwear. I take a few deep breaths. Okay. I can handle this. I take some toilet paper and shove it up my ass. That should hopefully stop it.  
  
There is tea and toast on my desk when I get back. I thank Donna yet again. I should really stop doing that. She is giving me odd looks. I must try and act like my normal self. I stand at my desk while checking my e mail and schedual. I have ten minutes before my first meeting. I nible at the toast. I'm not really hungry but I need something with the Advil. I grab my folders, note pad, extra pens, tea and Advil. "Okay Donna, I'm off. You know where I'll be if you need me." The Advil is starting to work, and everything is now a dull ache. I make it to the conference room early. I've given myself 90 minutes for each meeting. I ease myself into a chair. I lay out my notes and get ready for my meetings. I try and focus on these meetings, not what is happening at home.  
  
Donna walks in during the third meeting with a note. 'Lunch soon. Chinese food?' I write back. 'Chix and broc. Thanks.' She smiles as she leaves. I wonder what these guys in front of me are thinking. I finish the fourth meeting of the morning and take two more Advil. I know I'm probably over doing it with the pain killers but it's allowing me to function. These are the seventh pill I took so far today. I don't think I'm supposed to take more than eight. My lunch is waiting for me when I get back to my office. I close the door, telling Donna not to disturb me unless it's an emergency. There are some things I need to do before the next meeting. If she thinks that this is odd she says nothing. I really need a break from human contact for a bit. My afternoon is a blur of meetings and Advil. At 6:30 I tell Donna I'm leaving and make a quiet exit. I really don't want to run into anybody I know. I don't want them to see me and know what's going on. 


	4. Part 4

Part 4 (It's almost over.)  
  
When I get home she is standing in the doorway. "You're late." She says. I start to apologize as I walk in the door. But she slaps my face, which spins me, and shoves me into the closed door. The paddle falls on my ass, punctuating each word as she speaks it. "You are late. If you are going to be late you call me. Got that?" "Yes Ma'am."  
"Strip you have two minutes." I move as quickly as I can. "What's this?" She is pulling the toilet paper out of me. "I was bleeding Ma'am." She caresses my cheek. "Poor Joshua." She pauses a moment. "But you still need to be punished." She puts a blind fold on me again. "Kneel." I obey. Something is placed on the floor. She bends me over. I smell food. "Eat your dinner. Hands behind you." I put my face into the plate and my toungue darts out to see what is there. Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and peas. I skip the meat. I think I've had five bites of food before she pulls me up. "Dinners over." That's ok, I wasn't all that hungry anyway. She leads me into the guest room again. She has me kneel on a padded bench. I wonder where she got this from. I never had anything like this before. She ties my hands back up over my head. Something is slid over my penis. It's a little prickily and there is something that sticks into the slit. My ass is spread and the vibrator is inserted again. Straps go around my waist and between my legs. Her hands caress my chest. She teases my nipples. "I so want to pierce these babies. Then we can use some weights and stretch them so nicely. She uses her fingernails to pinch them. She ties a rope around my neck. It has a slip knot. I feel it at my throat. It's snug not tight. Where could she have tied it to? I hear a beep and the vibrator starts to move. Oh god. That hurts. There are spikes in that thing she put on my cock. It is being pierced. It's not going to let me come either. I must have screamed because something this put in my mouth. Just when I think it can't get any worse I feel a sting on my back. It is accompanied by a crack. I jerk and the rope tightens around my neck. I'm going to die tonight.  
  
Unfortunatly I don't. It all just stops. I don't expect it and it supprises me more than the next blow would have. She unties me and leads me into the bathroom. It's more like dragging today. I can barely move. I don't think I can do this anymore. She helps me into the shower and allows me to jerk off. My cock is all slippery and a few tugs is all it takes. It hurts so much. Again the water is turned on the blindfold removed. I can't help but cry. My penis is bleeding. There are holes in it. I think I'm going to be sick. The water is red with my blood. Can I make it through the day? She comes back into the bathroom. "Joshua, you are going to be late. I called you a cab. Come out of the shower and I'll help you get ready." She puts cotton in my behind, which is also bleeding and helps me into some clothing. She has also shaved me face and brushed my hair for me. The cab beeps. I don't want to go. I'm still bleeding. I can feel it sticking to my clothing. I have my bag in my hands. The thought of it on my shoulders hurts. I forgo an outer coat. I can't put anything else on my body with out collapsing. I ease myself into the cab. Every movement hurts. How much more can I stand? I think of my schedual. I should have no problem leaving the office at 6pm. I fish the advil out of my bag and take four dry. The cab pulls up to the White House. I pay the guy and try and focus on walking through the halls. First there is a staff then other meetings. I hear people mumble things to me, they are probably saying hi. I just ignore them. I just want to get to my office. "Josh you look horrible." Sam says. "I'm fine." "The sunburn?" "Getting better." "See ya." And he walks away. I must get to my office. "Morning Josh." "Morning Donna." "There is toast and tea already in your office." God I could hug the woman. That is if I was able to move my arms at least. "Thanks Donna. After staff I'm heading to my first meeting. You know how to get me, if you need to." I move slowly around my office. I feel my shirt sticking to my back. I take a look at what I'm wearing. At least she had the common sense to pull out a black suit for me. It's easier to hide the blood. I'm moving slow and stiff as I enter the Oval Office. "Josh you ok?" "Yes Mr. President." I hate lying to that man. "You sure. You look pale and you are walking funny." You would be too if there was cotton up your ass and your chest, back, and cock were all bleeding. "Had a bad night." I say instead. "I can see that. I know today is crazy for you. But if you can't do this let us know." Oh god. He knows. I can't let him think that I can't do my job. Can't let anyone know that I am beaten every night by some woman. There is more than beatings going on but I don't want to think of that right now. "I'll be fine sir." I answer. I don't believe itr. I look down at the floor. I feel everyone's eyes on me. Can they see the blood? The rope burns? We are dismissed and I head to my meetings. I hear people wish me luck. A lot depends on these meetings. I hope I do a good job. The pain never dulls today. I'm constantly standing and sitting. I'm taking two advil every two hours or so. I go to keep going. Donna comes in again about lunch. Chicken broth is all I think I can manage. I'm really not feeling all that well. My stomach is bothering me. I think its from the Advil. At least that is what I tell myself. I eat in my office alone again. I wonder if I can find something to keep me busy tomorrow. Maybe a major crisis that will take me out of town for the weekend. I think that the bleeding has stopped. But I'm too scared to look. My last meeting ends at 5:15. I'm on edge. I can't really concentrate. I'm thinking of home. I wonder what will happen. I get to my office and go through my e mails and schedual. Donna's knock on my door at 5:45 startles me. 15 more minutes then I got to get out of here. I look at her. "Leo called. He wants you, Sam, Toby, and CJ." "Okay." Oh shit. I get up. Maybe it won't be too long.  
  
"Josh." "Yeah Sam." "Good job today." "Thanks." I say honestly. "After this I'll give you a lift home." "Thanks Sam. I was gonna call a cab." "No sweat." We walk into Leo's office and everyone takes a seat. That is except for me. I perch myself on the arm of the couch that CJ is sitting on. "Don't worry. This is good. I just wanted to congradulate you Josh. Great Job. The bill is gonna get through congress." He smiles at me. Something smacks me in the stomach. My cock reacts to the pain. She has trained it real well. I jump. "Why the fuck must you hit me." I yell. I look around the room. Oh shit. I run.  
  
"Donna if anyone comes for me tell them I'll be out in ten minutes." I lock my office door and sit at my desk. It is becoming too much for me. I tear off my jacket and tie. I unbutton my collar and sleeves as the first waves of nausua hit. I pick up my trash can just in time. Everything that I have eaten today, not a lot, has come up. I feel my back and chest is wet as is the front of my pants. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. What am I going to do. I can't handle this. I put my head on the desk  
  
End 


End file.
